


but you and me, we always find our way back to each other

by volunteer_of_hufflepuff



Series: looking through a shattered telescope at another universe [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, Parallel Storylines, Season 3 coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volunteer_of_hufflepuff/pseuds/volunteer_of_hufflepuff
Summary: Two hearts breaking, in two different ways.Or: Magnus and Alec through the season, always together until they're not.For their love may be big, but the world isn't always kind.*Magnus falls.He falls down onto the ground in Alec’s office when seconds before he was smiling about their new home.And now he’s dying, convulsing.Breathless.Alec chokes back a sob and feels for a pulse.“Stay with me,” he says, folding his hands onto Magnus’ unmoving chest, “stay with me.”





	but you and me, we always find our way back to each other

**Author's Note:**

> something small just before the next episode takes us on another journey filled with angst.
> 
> enjoy! and don't cry too much.

 

Alec is dying.

Life flickering, blood pooling out onto his chest.

Struck by his own arrow, driven in by his own parabatai.

Yet he knows it's not Jace.

But that information is useless when Alec can't do anything but die.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Alec is dying.

Magnus is shaking, magic gone from his body.

His love's body is growing cold and his breaths are shallow. And there is nothing that Magnus can do.

Dust from Edom is stuck on his hands.

But no longer magic.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is trapped.

That is all Alec can think.

And it's his fault, too.

He let Magnus onto the mission. He hadn't stopped Iris.

As Alec watches the flames flicker, he can't help but think of how he failed.

He bites his lip absentmindedly and relishes in the strong, abrupt sting of pain.

It's his fault that Magnus is in danger.

And that's the cold hard truth.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is trapped.

And oh, is it humiliating.

Magicless. Mortal. Useless.

He couldn't even keep Iris out of his own apartment.

But he grits his teeth against the onslaught of magic.

Even if he is now far removed from his former glory.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is mortal.

It’s not a good thing, that Alec knows.

But there’s a part of him that is happy. Happy that he no longer has to wrangle and fight with something far beyond his understanding.

Happy that he and Magnus can grow old together.

But these thoughts are selfish, so Alec pushes them down and chases Magnus across the city amongst the hectic nature of another magicless day.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is mortal.

And he is _crumbling._

The hours are slipping by like sand through a sieve.

He kisses he shops he fights but -

He can’t help but think that the world has stopped moving.

So he throws himself into life with a new, invigorated fervour.

Even if it is slowly killing him.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus has magic again.

There’s joy, elation, sparking across Magnus’ face.

And Alec is so relieved, yet so confused.

Didn’t he - wasn’t magic - is Asmodeus -

But nothing ever leaves his mouth.

Magnus is happy.

And that is what is important.

. .   . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus has magic again.

It crackles like a livewire underneath his skin.

But it’s wrong, itching like a borrowed, too small moth-ball ridden jumper.

But it is magic. It is portals it is healing it is feeling _alive_ again. 

So Magnus smiles and fights back against the pain.

He has magic back, even if it is not the same, even if it is not his.

But it is magic, vibrant and useful.

And that is what is important.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus has lost his home.

Magnus has lost his home and Alec has offered him his.

But he doesn’t know how long it can last, how useful it is.

All Alec wants is for Magnus to be happy.

But he can’t get rid of the bitterness underlying the stares his boyfriends receives simply by being himself.

This may be Alec’s home, but Magnus will never be comfortable here.

But it’s all that he has.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus has lost his home.

And he’s acting like it’s okay. Like losing the place where he fell in love for the first time in a century or did so much good in doesn’t hurt.

But it does.

So does the blood slowly seeping into his fingers, his head as he performs another simple spell.

Because he has his magic back.

And if it hurts a little?

He doesn’t care.

It’s all that he has.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus falls.

He falls down onto the ground in Alec’s office when seconds before he was smiling about their new home.

And now he’s dying, convulsing.

Breathless.

Alec chokes back a sob and feels for a pulse.

“Stay with me,” he says, folding his hands onto Magnus’ unmoving chest, “stay with me.”

He feels as helpful as a leaf.

And he can’t breathe.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus falls.

Away from Alec, hand outreached, away from waffles glinting in the soft morning sunlight, away from dances and warmth and love.

Vines sneak around his chest.

He’s lost in his own mind.

So much so that he doesn’t notice that he hasn’t drawn a breath in the last minute.

And Magnus continues to dream of a much kinder world.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is in the infirmary.

He breathes.

Alec clutches their intertwined hands, his breathing staggered.

And waits for the love of his life to wake up.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is in the infirmary.

And he is confused.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep or falling ill.

He doesn’t understand.

But Alec is there, so everything must be okay.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus loses his magic.

After declaring that he may prefer to die alongside it.

Thorns scissor through Alec’s chest as he clutches Magnus tight in the aftermath.

A Magnus-less world is not one he wants to ever see.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus loses his magic.

Again.

Because it was killing him.

And if it hadn’t been for the plea borne out of desperation sewn into Alec’s eyes.

He may have just let it.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Alec plans.

He curls the cold metal box into his palm.

And smiles.

He can’t wait to make Magnus his husband.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Alec plans.

Apparently.

But then Magnus spots a grey hair.

He grabs a bottle.

And it’s all downhill from there.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is drunk.

And he is so, despairingly sad.

Sad like smashed, abandoned wedding cake. Sad like the marionettes whose strings have been cut with a jagged knife.

Sad like a man whose whole sense of self has been taken.

Alec is -

Alec doesn’t know what to do, but he knows that there will be no proposal tonight.

That all he can do is hold on.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Magnus is drunk.

The world spins in a blur of bright, blinding colours.

In Alec’s arms tonight, he shatters.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Alec breaks up with Magnus.

 _It’s for the best_ , Alec thinks as he walks away from his mother’s bookshop blinking tears back from his eyes.

 _It’s for the best,_ Alec thinks, not lingering on how he’ll never heal.

 _It’s for the best,_ Alec thinks as he breaks down over his morning coffee.

 _It’s for the best_ , his love for Magnus insists, _Magnus needs his magic more than he needs me._

It’s the bittersweet truth.

. .  . .    . .    . .    . .

Alec breaks up with Magnus.

And it is hell.

Magnus is confused.

He’s lost. Broken. Disoriented, the rug of love - the one thing he thought he had left - pulled out suddenly from his feet.

Each block of Brooklyn brings him another thread of pain as he aimlessly wanders the streets.

So he asks Brother Zachariah to take it away.

He bites his lip against the ever-brewing tears.

_It’s for the best._

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> any tears can be directed here:[tumblr](https://mirrorofliterature.tumblr.com/).


End file.
